It take me few hours sitting in front of the computer to write this post. I just dunno how to start it...Maybe it was too long since my last posting. I was just too reluctant to type...After writing a paragraph, I deleted it...Then I rewrite it again and still I delete it. This continue for few hours...From free time in office to free time in house...It have been 2 weeks agenda that I wanted to post here and again and again I delay this posting. I just need to face the reality. It was already a well know cases....I did...and yes I did putting a fullstop on my interest.
From the initial coma, i defer my decision to semicolon and now I just put a fullstop to it.
Dated 12 September, I personally decided putting the end to my long 6 years dream. I tender my resignation letter with both sad and relieve heart. I feel my burden is less but on the same time I feel a huge rock falling on me. I crushed my own dream. The dream that I hold for years because I believe the dream is the future reality.
Step by step, this 9 months changes my mind, seeing the different world of business. I know where is my weaknesses and I know what is my real interest is...I know where should my next step be.
Robert Frost in his famous poem, The road not taken illustrate that future is unforeseen and when choices come, whatever choice taken, we know nothing about it. We just trust our intuition and follow our heart, hopefully the dream came true.
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. (Robert Frost, 1916)Plan is essential in human life. We plan a lot of thing. At morning, we plan what to eat for breakfast, how to go to work and what work should be settle by noon. At noon, we plan what to have for lunch, what to do immediate after lunch, what time should go back home to avoid the jam, and what to do tonight. At night we plan for what for dinner, what time to sleep, and what time to wake up. Life is full of planning.
Old saying stated that "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"...For years, we plan, we direct ourselves toward the goal, the ultimate plan. We success...We might also fail. When the plan look blur, we change, when it turn out another way, we redo, we correct...Planned strategy might not be the same as outcome, emerging thought might end up changing the plan and maybe change the destiny.
Sitting in front of the computer, I still feel this was the hardest post I ever write. Listen to the sad song, I take myself picturing what I have gone through within the 9 months. Time flies and it did...How happy was those moment we were together...The sore and pain we have walk will be capture in my mind forever.
Decided...I taking the road less taken. Where will it be? I don't know. I just know, I put a big semicolon, erasing portion of my dream and re divert it to what I dream for...
I know.......
I know, the road less taken, risky as it was, unpredicted future...BLUR...In ACCA P3, Potter call this "stuck in the middle" and going through "Bermuda Triangle"
I concern some advice asking me to stay, rethink, and get back the letter saying me as too rush and too emotional...What I did was merely my cracked dream and my new start of my dream. It may seem different, paranormal, and maybe weird but the road I choose was not far choose. The road wasn't that it never been travel...Is just it was less travelled.
I give myself 3 months of consideration. During my coma, I did coma, it fail...it fail to change my mind. I changed, hoping that my changes is acceptable, again it fail, my semicolon; destroy;. I was totally down, bidding goodbye one by one. I sit at special area in office with less known person. Become quite, muted person for a day, observe what have happen. I see my future in the firm. Directly as what I dreamed about...I paused, I asked myself; I get no answer...
The second day, I sit there again. Isolated. Observe enough to see the future. I know, there is bright future...I paused, I asked; and this time I answer...
There is nothing wrong of being here. There is nothing wrong with my dream but it was me who changed..I changed because my dream divert with 2 paths. Traditional famous path and one less taken, unproven.
I chosen, and I will give it a try. Anyway, I might not be young but for sure I am not too old to try it out. Life is unpredicted but human just like to predict their future. Let it be...Let fly like the birds and let time decide the future because surviving Bermuda Triangle is my dream....
I have chosen...the path one less traveled by and that has made all the difference...
I decided, that one great post will be up soon...10.10.08...The 9 months journey...Is not the end, it was just the beginning...
Decided, here is the fullstop.