CNY and I am emoing

Chinese New Year is always a time of celebration. Time to gather with the love one. The whole 15 days is full of happiness and laughter.

This year my new year was much of a different and was consider a new twist compare to others days. Normally my first 2 days is reserve for my relatives while third and forth day was for my friends.

However, there is so many things happen this year that my new year was totally different. On the first day of Chinese New Year, my family left for vacation in Hong Kong, Mainland of China and Macau....and I was totally alone in the house with one of my aunty. Life is suck especially the first day I spent whole day MSN, Facebook and Gmail....and yeah, no one was active that day as most people are so busy that they have forgotten what is facebook and MSN.

Second day of my new year, I was invited to my friend house. One of my friend address this gathering as 'Ah Mao Beh' which mean Mat Salleh Horse.....This bunch of friends are basically banana and english educated person. As far as I am a banana, I am actualy not that close with them as I always find myself isolating from them. Maybe I was too shy with the level of my 'wisdom' compare to them. Well, the 4 hours meeting was full of 'singapore and australia lifestyle topic. No doubt we discuss a lot about investment, business and future which was quite positive, but somehow, I always have the downside with them. Looking at those rich kids make me feel that I am so left out....I am not saying they left me out....In deed i appreciate that they invite me over for the gathering.....Is just my own emo feeling that always conquer my life..

Second day also saw my close colleague storm my house for gambling session and playing firecrackers. Looking back on how I can find such close friends in workplace, make me think twice should I go ahead with my planned plan to leave the company soon....

Third day as normal, my secondary school gathering with house visiting. Time fly and it have been 7 years since we left the secondary school and everyone is now either big boss, bright future career man and woman and great student....Again, I rethink what I had achieve....I remind myself not to compare to much, because there is nothing to compare to...

Fourth day I went to office to symbolicly mark an auspicious working day hoping life would be smooth in the rabbit year. Went to gym and follow with few house visiting and meet university friends for seafood dinner.

As for my collegemate gathering, sadly this year gathering was cancelled as everyone was extremely busy with their work. Since I had book an apartment in Genting View Resort I headed to Genting with few friends as vacation....An today 15th February, a day after the valentine day, I have a small gathering with my ex firm colleague...It was a nice trip down to Malacca and Seremban...

With so many friends....question is why am I so emoing?
I don't know....Everytime I on the song on my computer, my emo feeling is back. Maybe the song I put is emo enough. For few days I am blasting Chinese New Year song in my room, few days back, I am again back to emo song.

I close my eye while listen to some song, I realise that I am so fortunate to have good food, good friend, good family, good life as compare to many others. However, if I change my mind to be negative, my work life haunted my mind, money haunted my mind.....my sin haunted me...

On the 9th day of Chinese New Year, I go for 'top up luck' prayers....It was meant for those who have clash with 'thai sui' and I was one of them. I knee down with josstick in front of huge 'kuan inn' and i have a sin in my heart not known by many people. For one hour I knee down for the whole process, I pray to Kuan Inn so I could be bless with a brighter path and hopefully I can be guide, lead from the darkness into a brighter part....

This year Chinese New Year is good...Knowing the whole year path will be bumpy, I have aim and work toward my plan. Finger cross that all my plan will success....I hope my prayer been heard....I hope all my wishes in low sang came true....I hope what I hope will never remain as hope but a reality...

Yes, I am emoing....but I know, a few hours after the emo session, I will find new light, new beginning and new hope....

I close my eye...hope a new chapter of my life will soon become reality....