Another failure

My blog started in April 2007, probably the most desperate time in my whole life. At that point of time, I have successfully organize all event in the society and ready to let go my position but was also the time whereby I will face the most difficult exam in my life in UTAR. Without proper preparation and tough time revising my exam, i feel like i am so hopeless.

A month after that, I noticed my first failure in my exam, probably the first failure in main exam. I accept with my heart and soul. I remember the journey from Malacca to Kuala Lumpur alone which fill with disappointment, sadness and despair. I abandoned my thesis mate in Malacca to enable me to focus on my resit examination.

2 years later, I got feeling that this will again happen to me. Why not? Is ACCA and not degree this time…I am prepare for more failure to come. After 6 months of classes and thousand of $ invested, I come out hopeless from the exam hall knowing no people can help me to pass this time. Though, I still put high hope to pass this paper.

12.23 noon today, I saw an email at my Gmail account indicating my result is out. My heart is pumping faster and faster and my fingers just resist me from pressing on the email. I know what my result will be but still I put some hope in it. After months of begging to the god to ensure a smooth passing, I know my failure this time is far more worst that even God of Mercy can’t help me anymore.

P2, probably stand for Paper No. 2 to fail. Yeah. Maybe…..

2nd failure and I feel it less painful from my previous failure in degree. But I just don’t understand why I am so emotional now. To me it was more to disappointment rather than sadness.

After 6 months of time and money invested, it comes to the same square end and I have to study again. Wtf!!!

I dedicated this blog as place I voice out my sadness during the starting point but with more reader now, I can’t go public and shout out my sadness…probably this is the one and only post where I show my sadness!!!

Rest in peace P2…..i shall visit you again this December.